When the father asks the son to divorce his wife
بـسـم الله والحـمـد لله والـصلاة والـسـلام عــلى رسـول الله، وبـعـد
[Sharh Riyaadh al-Saaliheen, pg. 3/203]
Shaikh al-`Uthaymeen رحمه الله said:
It is not that every father be obeyed when he forces/commands
his son to divorce his wife. A man asked Imaam Ahmad ibn Hanbal رحمه الله saying: My father said: “Divorce your wife”, while I
love her. Imaam Ahmad said: “Do not obey him.” The man said: “Did not the
Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم commanded `Abdullaah ibn `Umar رضي الله عنهما to divorce his wife upon the command of `Umar رضي الله عنه?”
Imaam Ahmad said: “Is your father like `Umar?” [1]
Because `Umar رضي الله عنه, as we know, was a man who had sure knowledge
(certainty), he would not have commanded (his son) `Abdullaah to divorce his
wife except for a legitimate reason, which (his son) Ibn `Umar might not have
known. It is impossible that `Umar رضي الله عنه would command his
son to divorce his wife so that he could separate them without a legitimate
reason. [2]
So as per this, if your father or mother commands you to
divorce your wife, while you love her and do not find any legitimate reason
against her, then do not divorce her, because this is from those special cases
in which no one is allowed to interfere between the man and his wife. [3]
*******
[1] Shaikh al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله was
asked about a man who is married and has children, but his mother hates his
wife and is asking him to divorce her, is it allowed for him to divorce her? He
(Ibn Taymiyyah) said: It is not allowed for him to divorce his wife (only)
because his mother said so. What is upon him is to be kind to his mother, and
divorcing his wife is not from it. [Majmoo` al-Fataawa (33/112)]
[2] The complete Hadeeth is:
Narrated `Abdullaah ibn `Umar رضي الله عنهما: I
had a wife whom I loved, but whom `Umar رضي الله عنه
disliked. He told me to divorce her and when I refused, `Umar went to Allaah’s
Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم and mentioned the matter to him. Allaah’s Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم
said: “Divorce her.” [Sunan Tirmidhee
(1189) and Sunan Abu Dawood (5138) and graded as “Saheeh” by Shaikh al-Albaanee
رحمه الله in his
checking of Sunan Abu Dawood]
[3] When everything is going smooth between the husband
and the wife, then no one is allowed to interfere between them trying to
separate them except with a valid reason. But on the contrary, if there is a
conflict between the husband and the wife then, it becomes a must that people
interfere to reconcile between them, as Allaah تعالى says:
{If you fear a breach
between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from
his family and the other from hers; if they both wish for peace, Allaah will
cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allaah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted
with all things.} [Surah al-Nisaa’ (4):35]
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