Al-Hayaa’: An indicator of a woman’s level of Imaan

 بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

(Al-Hayaa’: modesty, shyness, bashfulness, decency)

The distinct characteristic with which we are known for is al-Hayaa’. Why is al-Hayaa’ given so much importance? It is because al-Hayaa’ is good and it only brings good, and al-Hayaa’ is not present in a thing except that it beautifies it.

A woman who is shy will not be in the gathering of men, she will not be in crowded places, she will not raise her voice in the presence of men. So, when her feminine characteristics get corroded, and she mingles with the opposite gender, her femininity goes away, or it declines drastically. It does not necessarily mean that her character is bad or that she has lost her dignity, but her femininity is part of her beauty, which goes away when it gets corroded or when she intermingles.

Reforming our homes

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

All praise is for Allaah alone, the One who is a Guide to the Right Path. He guides from His slaves – those who repent – to the Straight Path, and He brings them out of darkness into light. And He sends astray those who turn away (from His obedience) and follow their desires.

وَمَا ظَلَمَهُمُ اللَّـهُ وَلَـٰكِن كَانُوا أَنفُسَهُمْ يَظْلِمُونَ

{And Allaah wronged them not, but they used to wrong themselves}

[Surah al-Nahl (16): 33]

Takhbeeb: A punishable offense which goes unnoticed

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

Except for Islaam, there is no other religion, society, or country that makes Takhbeeb an offense punishable by law. Since it is not mentioned in the Western world, many people, including many Muslims, are unaware of this word, “Takhbeeb” and the ruling concerning it. Islaam outlawed this crime 1400 years ago, and it took many precautions in this regard, it made it obligatory for both men and women to lower their gaze, it prohibited free-mixing between men and women, and it prohibited seclusion between a man and a woman who are not related, it prohibited improper clothing, it defined the dress codes for men and women, Hijaab, etc.

Some things corrupt a person’s marital life while he is unaware. It works like a hidden poison. This poison (a crime) is known as Takhbeeb: the act of corrupting or instigating the wife against her husband or the husband against his wife; and it is punishable by law.

To know what Takhbeeb means and who are the people involved, and how can they influence, kindly click the below link to download the pdf:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hUNBM76-wBNfypWu7FWdT8nMszfy0eL0/view?usp=sharing

or

https://www.scribd.com/document/473834412/Takhbeeb

What does a woman want from a man?

بـسـم الله والحـمـد لله والـصلاة والـسـلام عــلى

رسـول الله، وبـعـد

What does a woman want from a man?

In short, the foremost thing she needs is security. She does not want a husband who makes her live in fear, like the one who often threatens her with marrying someone besides her (i.e. with a second marriage). Or he makes her feel that his friends and his gatherings with them are more important than sitting with her. Or because of his constant, long, unrestrained staring at women he makes her feel that he may abandon her (anytime).

She wants a husband who respects her... and who consults her... and who does not belittles her... and who praises her beauty... her talks... her cooking (food)... and he does not degrades her in front of others.

She wants her husband to give her tender loving care which she (badly) needs after long tiring work around the house, and with taking care of his kids.

She wants true love... which makes her feel that out of all the women (in the world), her husband has only chosen her. Love which touches her feminity (i.e. makes her feel like she is a woman) .

O husband! Do not be niggardly in spending over her (needs)... and fear Allaah regarding her rights... for she is one of the two weak ones... about whom the Prophet ﷺ advised us to take care of.

📚 [Shaikh Muhammad Ibn Umar Baazmool]

Takhbeeb: Corrupting or Instigating the Wife against her Husband

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

Ministry of Justice: 62 cases of Takhbeeb (instigating or corrupting a wife against her husband) have been registered in the court so far in the past 8 months.

The Ministry of Justice had informed Al-Madinah (newspaper) on 07/June/2016 that in the past eight months, the court has dealt with 62 cases of Takhbeeb – corrupting the wife against her husband or the husband against his wife – so far. The highest of which were registered in al-Riyaadh which saw 22 cases, and the courts in Makkah Province (including Jeddah) saw 17 cases of Takhbeeb being registered in this period.

`Umar Ibn al-Khattaab: A caring father

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

🌟 He is always remembered for his anger and stern stance against his enemies.

🌟 He is always remembered for his strong faith that even Shayaateen would change their routes when `Umar used to pass by.

🚫 He is also wrongly accused of burying alive his infant daughter. [This is a false report and it has already been clarified in the book: “Saheeh al-Seerah]

Hadeeth: Fixing certain time and place for teaching women

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

Narrated Abu Sa`eed al-Khudree رضي الله عنه:

❝Some women requested the Prophet ﷺ to fix a day for them as the men were taking all his time. On that he promised them one day for religious lessons and commandments.❞

[Saheeh al-Bukhaaree (101)]

Narrated Abu Sa`eed al-Khudree رضي الله عنه:

❝A woman came to Allaah’s Messenger ﷺ and said: “O Allaah’s Messenger ﷺ! Men (only) benefit by your teachings, so please devote to us from (some of) your time, a day on which we may come to you so that you may teach us of what Allaah has taught you.” Allaah's Messenger ﷺ said: ❝Gather on such-and-such a day at such-and-such a place.❞ They gathered and Allaah’s Messenger ﷺ came to them and taught them of what Allaah had taught him.❞

[Saheeh al-Bukhaaree (7310) and Saheeh Muslim (6368)]

Tafseer: To marry only one wife when one fears he might do injustice to his other wives

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

﴿وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلَّا تَعُولُوا﴾

{And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.} [Surah al-Nisaa’ (4): 3]

۩•۞•۩

Narrated `Urwah Ibn al-Zubair that he had asked `Aaishah رضي الله عنها about the meaning of the Statement of Allaah:

From the Sermon of `Arafah: The rights of the spouses

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

In the long Hadeeth of Jaabir رضي الله عنه, about the description of the Prophet’s صلى الله عليه وسلم Hajj, he narrated that on the Day of `Arafah, in the valley of `Arafah, in his famous sermon, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ❝Fear Allaah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allaah (or for you have taken them as a trust from Allaah), and intimacy with them has become permissible to you through Allaah’s Word. You too have right over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely (i.e. in a manner that does not cause injury or leave a mark). Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a reasonable manner.❞

[Saheeh Muslim (2803), Sunan Ibn Maajah (3074), and Sunan Abu Dawood (1905)]

Shaikh Ibn al-`Uthaymeen رحمه الله said:

The duty of men to live with their wives honorably and with kindness

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

وَيْلٌ لِّلْمُطَفِّفِينَ ﴿١﴾ الَّذِينَ إِذَا اكْتَالُوا عَلَى النَّاسِ يَسْتَوْفُونَ ﴿٢﴾ وَإِذَا كَالُوهُمْ أَو وَّزَنُوهُمْ يُخْسِرُونَ ﴿٣﴾ أَلَا يَظُنُّ أُولَـٰئِكَ أَنَّهُم مَّبْعُوثُونَ ﴿٤﴾ لِيَوْمٍ عَظِيمٍ ﴿٥﴾ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ النَّاسُ لِرَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ ﴿٦﴾

{Woe to Al-Mutaffifeen * Those who, when they have to receive by measure from men, demand full measure, * And when they have to give by measure or weight to men, give less than due. * Think they not that they will be resurrected (for reckoning), * On a Great Day, * The Day when (all) mankind will stand before the Lord of the `Aalameen?} [Surah al-Mutaffifeen (83): 1-6]

Shaikh Ibn al-`Uthaymeen رحمه الله said:

❝This similitude which Allaah تعالى mentioned in this Aayah, regarding giving full measure and full weight, is mentioned by way of example. Based on this, anything which resembles it can be related to it. Anyone who demands that his rights be paid in full while he himself does not pay the rights which are due upon him is included in this Aayah.

Brief Comments on Riyaadh al-Saaliheen #106

Chapter: Spending on your family and those under your care

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

Narrated Sa`d bin Abi Waqqaas رضي الله عنه: Allaah’s Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ❝You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for Allaah’s sake even if it were a morsel which you put in your wife’s mouth.❞

[Saheeh al-Bukhaaree (56, 1295, 4409, 5668, 6373, 6733) and Saheeh Muslim (3991)]

And in another narration he صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ❝And what you spend as charity from your property is Sadaqah and your spending on your family is also Sadaqah, and what your wife eats from your property is also Sadaqah.❞

[Saheeh Muslim (3997)]

Abu Hurairah reported Allaah’s Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم as saying: ❝Of the Dinaar you spend in Allaah’s way (Jihaad), or to set free a slave, or as a Sadaqah given to a needy, or to support your family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spent on your family.❞ [Saheeh Muslim (2181)]

Brief Comments on Riyaadh al-Saaliheen #105

Fulfilling an obligation is better than doing many optional deeds:

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

Many times we see people preoccupied with optional deeds while ignoring the obligatory ones, example:

1) Eager to feed the poor while ignoring the obligatory Salaah (prayers).

2) Being cheerful with their friends but not with their wives and children.

3) Being generous with old people while ignoring their own parents.

4) Eager to help the strangers but not their own brothers.

5) Standing up for the (optional) night prayers but missing on the Fajr with the congregation.

***

Shaikh Muhammad Ibn Saaleh al-`Uthaymeen رحمه الله said:

❝Fulfilling an obligation is far more superior to doing optional deeds, because of the saying Allaah تعالى in the Hadeeth al-Qudsee:

Brief Comments on Riyaadh al-Saaliheen #103

The sickness of being pretentious:

(Behaving or speaking in such a manner as to create a false appearance of great importance or distinction to attract others)

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

Asmaa’ رضي الله عنها reported: A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: I have a co-wife. Is there any harm for me if I give her the false impression of getting something from my husband which he has not in fact given me? The Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ❝The one who creates a false impression of receiving what one has not been given is like one who wears two garments of falsehood.❞

[Saheeh al-Bukhaaree (5219) and Saheeh Muslim (5311, 5312)]

Tafseer: The most comprehensive Aayah in regards to the rights of the wives

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

Allaah تعالى says:

﴿وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾

{And live with them honorably} [Surah al-Nisaa’ (4): 19]

And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

Brief Comments on Riyaadh al-Saaliheen #77

Do not treat your wives like slaves:

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

There are men who, out of no reason, annoy their wives, treat them like captives, do not fulfill their rights, yet they want the wives to be submissive and obedient and expect the marriage to be successful.

In the Hadeeth of `Abdullaah bin Zam`ah رضي الله عنه he mentioned: Then (in the sermon) the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم made mention of women and said: “There is amongst you who beats (flogs) his wife as if she was a slave, and then he sleeps with her at the end of the day.” [Saheeh al-Bukhaaree (4942) and Saheeh Muslim (6837)]

Shaikh Ibn `al-`Uthaymeen رحمه الله said:

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم gave a sermon and `Abdullaah ibn Zam`ah was among those who heard it. Among the things which the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم mentioned was:

“There is amongst you who flogs (beats) his wife as if she was a slave, and then he sleeps with her at the end of the day.”

Meaning: he flogs (or beats) her as if there is no relationship between the two of them and as if she is a subjugated captive (and who is there only to fulfill his desires). This is not an appropriate behavior because the relationship between the man with his wife is a special bond which should be based upon love, affinity and away from immorality – either of statements or actions.

But as for his flogging her like a slave and then at the end of the day he wants to sleep with her – how can he sleep with her at the end of the day and enjoy her and fulfill his desires while he has beaten her like a slave?! This is an inharmonious behavior. That is why the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم admonished against such behavior, for such things should not be part of a man’s attitude (towards his wife). And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم spoke the truth, for such behavior does not befit a sane person let alone a Believer.

[Sharh Riyaadh al-Saaliheen (3/118-119)]

Brief Comments on Riyaadh al-Saaliheen #76

Be gentle with your wives and benefit from them the way they are.

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه reported: the Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Take my advice with regard to women: Act kindly towards women, for they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of a rib is its uppermost. If you attempt to straighten it; you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked; so act kindly toward women." [Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim].

In another narration of Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim, the Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "A woman is like a rib, if you attempt to straighten it, you will break it; and if you benefit from her, you will do so while crookedness remains in her."

Ruling on those who try to breakup the families:

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

Ruling on those who try to breakup the families, either it be between husband and wife, father and son, mother and daughter etc.:

Question: Is it permissible for the husband to prevent his wife from maintaining bonds with her kinship, especially her mother and father?

Answer: Maintaining ties of kinship is Waajib (an obligatory act), and it is not permissible for the husband to prevent his wife from doing so; because severing bonds of kinship is from the major sins. And it is not permissible for the wife to obey her husband in this regards, because there is no obedience to the creation in disobedience to the Creator. Rather she should maintain ties of kinship through her personal wealth, correspondences and visits to them; except when such visits would be damaging the rights of the husband. If the husband fears that her close relatives would instigate her against him, then he has the rights to prevent her from visiting them. So in this case she should maintain her ties of kinship without visiting them.

[Shaikh Saleh al-Fawzaan – فتاوى علماء البلد الحرام ص 1397]

**********

Question: What is the ruling on someone who tries to provoke the spouses against each other, if they are from among the wife's relatives?

Answer: It is Haraam to provoke a wife or turn her against her husband, whether the one who does this is a relative or not. It was related by Al-Nasa'y, Abu Dawud, and Ibn Hibban on the authority of Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Anyone who incites a woman against her husband or a slave against his master is not one of us.”* This is the wording of Abu Dawood.

May Allaah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.

Member - Shaikh `Abdullaah al-Ghudayyaan

Deputy Chairman – Shaikh `Abdul Razzaaq `Afifiy

Chairman – Shaikh `Abdul `Azeez ibn `Abdullaah Ibn Baaz.

[Fataawa Lajnah (10726)]

*[Sunan Abu Dawood (2175 and 5170) and graded as Saheeh by Shaikh al-Albaanee in al-Saheehah (324, 325)]

Relatives have more rights in the Decree of Allaah over others!

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

Blood relations have more rights that good should be done to them over others!

Allaah تعالى said:

﴿وَأُوْلُو الاٌّرْحَامِ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلَى بِبَعْضٍ فِى كِتَـبِ اللَّهِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُهَـجِرِينَ﴾

{And blood relations among each other have closer personal ties in the decree of Allaah than the Believers and the Muhaajiroon} [Surah al-Ahzaab (33): 6]

Allaah تعالى also said:

﴿يَسْأَلُونَكَ مَاذَا يُنفِقُونَ ۖ قُلْ مَا أَنفَقْتُم مِّنْ خَيْرٍ فَلِلْوَالِدَيْنِ وَالْأَقْرَبِينَ وَالْيَتَامَىٰ وَالْمَسَاكِينِ وَابْنِ السَّبِيلِ ۗ وَمَا تَفْعَلُوا مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَإِنَّ اللَّـهَ بِهِ عَلِيمٌ﴾

{They ask you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) what they should spend. Say: Whatever you spend of good must be for parents and kindred (relatives) and orphans and Al-Masaakeen (the poor) and the wayfarers, and whatever you do of good deeds, truly, Allaah knows it well. } [Surah al-Baqarah (2): 215]

The family of Prophet Zakariyya عليه السلام:

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

In the Qur’aan, the story of Zakariyya عليه السلام has already been mentioned in detail at the beginning of Surah Maryam and also in Surah aal-`Imraan. Here, in Surah al-Anbiyaa’, a summarized version is given:

﴿وَزَكَرِيَّا إِذْ نَادَىٰ رَبَّهُ رَبِّ لَا تَذَرْنِي فَرْدًا وَأَنتَ خَيْرُ الْوَارِثِينَ * فَاسْتَجَبْنَا لَهُ وَوَهَبْنَا لَهُ يَحْيَىٰ وَأَصْلَحْنَا لَهُ زَوْجَهُ ۚ إِنَّهُمْ كَانُوا يُسَارِعُونَ فِي الْخَيْرَاتِ وَيَدْعُونَنَا رَغَبًا وَرَهَبًا ۖ وَكَانُوا لَنَا خَاشِعِينَ﴾

{And (remember) Zakariyya, when he cried to his Lord: “O My Lord! Leave me not single (childless), though You are the Best of the inheritors.” * So We answered his call, and We bestowed upon him Yahya, and cured his wife (to bear a child) for him. Verily, they used to hasten on to do good deeds, and they used to call on Us with hope and fear, and used to humble themselves before Us.} [Surah al-Anbiyaa’ (21): 89-90]

O Sisters! The best examples for you are in the Ummahaat al-Mu'mineen

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

O Muslim sisters! Do you not have the best examples to follow in the Ummahaat al-Mu’mineen (Mothers of the Believers), the wives of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم??!

Allaah تعالى says:

﴿وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ وَلَا تَبَرَّجْنَ تَبَرُّجَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ الْأُولَىٰ﴾

{And stay in your houses (O wives of the Prophet), and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance…} [Surah al-Ahzaab (33): 33]

Imaam al-Qurtubee رحمه الله mentioned in his Tafseer:

It was said to Umm al-Mu’mineen, Sawdah رضي الله عنها: “Why do you not go for Hajj or make `Umrah like the way your sisters do?” She said: “I have already performed Hajj and `Umrah, and Allaah تعالى has commanded me that I should stay inside my house.”

The sub-narrator said: “By Allaah! She did not go out of her house except when her Janaazah (funeral) was taken out.” Allaah be pleased with her.

[al-Jaami` li Ahkaam al-Qur’aan (14/180-181)]