What “maintaining ties of kinship” really means:

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

Maintaining ties kinship does not mean that you treat them well only when they treat you well. This is not the real meaning of: “maintaining ties of kinship” is. This is only a favor in return for a favor.

Maintaining ties of kinship is when you maintain the bond even when they sever it; you maintain the bond even when they harm you; you maintain the bond even when they plot against you.

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From the 7 instructions which the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم gave to Abu Dharr رضي الله عنه, one of the things he صلى الله عليه وسلم mentioned is:

وأمرني أن أصل الرحم وإن أدبرت

“He ordered me to maintain the ties of kinship even when they turn their backs (on you)”

[Musnad of Imaam Ahmad (5/159) and graded as “Saheeh” by Shaikh al-Albaanee in al-Saheehah (2166)]

Narrated `Abdullaah bin `Amr رضي الله عنهما: The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

لَيْسَ الوَاصِلُ بِالْمُكَافِئِ، وَلَكِنِ الوَاصِلُ الَّذِي إِذَا قُطِعَتْ رَحِمُهُ وَصَلَهَا

“Al-Waasil (the one who maintains ties of kinship) is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Waasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him.”

[Saheeh al-Bukhaaee (5991)]

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And the best and most beautiful practical example was given by the Siddeeq of this Ummah, Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه, as mentioned in the Saheehain in regards to Mistah, who was one of the relatives of Abu Bakr and was one of those who wrongly accused `Aaishah رضي الله عنها of adultery.

Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq رضي الله عنه who used to provide for Mistah some financial aid because of his relation to him, said: “By Allaah, I will never give anything (in charity) to Mistah, after what he has said about `Aaishah.” Then Allaah revealed:

ولا يَأْتَلِ أُولُو الْفَضْلِ مِنكُمْ وَالسَّعَةِ أَن يُؤْتُوا أُولِي الْقُرْبَىٰ

“{And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give (any sort of help) to their kinsmen} “ [Surah al-Noor (24): 22]

On that, Abu Bakr said: “Yes, by Allaah, I like that Allaah should forgive me!” And then he resumed giving Mistah the aid he used to give him and said: “By Allaah! I will never withhold it from him.”

[Saheeh al-Bukhaaree (2661, 4141, 4750, 4757, 6679) and Saheeh Muslim (6673)]

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A man accusing your daughter of adultery and you still maintain ties of kinship because of the Commandment of Allaah تعالى! This is what “maintaining ties of kinship” really means. This is pure obedience. This is giving priority to the Commandments of Allaah over desires and personal matters.