Thursday, September 15, 2016

From the Sermon of `Arafah: The rights of the spouses

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد

In the long Hadeeth of Jaabir رضي الله عنه, about the description of the Prophet’s صلى الله عليه وسلم Hajj, he narrated that on the Day of `Arafah, in the valley of `Arafah, in his famous sermon, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: Fear Allaah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allaah (or for you have taken them as a trust from Allaah), and intimacy with them has become permissible to you through Allaah’s Word. You too have right over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely (i.e. in a manner that does not cause injury or leave a mark). Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a reasonable manner.

[Saheeh Muslim (2803), Sunan Ibn Maajah (3074), and Sunan Abu Dawood (1905)]


Shaikh Ibn al-`Uthaymeen رحمه الله said:

۞ (During his sermon) the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم then directed towards the rights of the women who in the Jaahiliyyah (days of ignorance) were oppressed and suppressed. The men used to enslave the women to the extent that they were deprived of their share of the inheritance (i.e. when her husband or her father passed away, she would receive nothing from their wealth). They would say: "The women have no share in the inheritance. Inheritance is only for men because it is they who used to defend the land, and provide protection. But as for the women, they have no share of the inheritance."

But Islaam commanded justice concerning women and gave them their rights (long before any society or religion did); and from that is what the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم mentioned in this sermon when he said: Fear Allaah concerning women! Do not oppress them, nor be careless or negligent concerning their rights, nor transgress against them.

۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم saying: Verily you have taken them on the security of Allaah (or for you have taken them as a trust from Allaah)…. They are a trust with you. It is not permissible to act treacherously towards them or betray them.

۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم saying: …and intimacy with them has become permissible to you through Allaah’s Word, this is like the saying of Allaah تعالى:

﴿وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ * إِلَّا عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ﴾

{And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts) * Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame…} [Surah al-Mu’minoon (23): 5-6]

These are from the Words of Allaah عز وجل through which it becomes permissible for the man to have intercourse with his wife.

۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم saying:You too have rights over them that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like. This is from the rights of the husband over his wife that she should not allow anyone, whom he dislikes, to sit on his Faraash (bedding). The Faraash here means more than just sleeping mattress or bedding; it includes every type of sheet or rug or carpet that is used inside the house. It also means that a woman should not allow anyone to enter the house of her husband whom he dislikes – irrespective of whether they are her near relatives or distant ones. It is not permissible for a woman to allow anyone to enter the house of her husband while he does not approve of that.

[TN: Amongst the people who the husband can prevent from entering his house are those who try to break up the families, either it be between husband and wife, father and son, mother and daughter etc.:

Question: Is it permissible for the husband to prevent his wife from maintaining bonds with her kinship, especially her mother and father?

Answer: Maintaining ties of kinship is Waajib (an obligatory act), and it is not permissible for the husband to prevent his wife from doing so; because severing bonds of kinship is from the major sins. And it is not permissible for the wife to obey her husband in this regards, because there is no obedience to the creation in disobedience to the Creator. Rather she should maintain ties of kinship through her personal wealth, correspondences and visits to them; except when such visits would be damaging the rights of the husband. If the husband fears that her close relatives would instigate her against him, then he has the rights to prevent her from visiting them. So in this case she should maintain her ties of kinship without visiting them.

[Shaikh Saaleh al-Fawzaan – فتاوى علماء البلد الحرام ص 1397]

This is also based on the saying of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم: Anyone who incites a woman against her husband or a slave against his master is not one of us. [Sunan Abu Dawood (2175 and 5170) and graded as Saheeh by Shaikh al-Albaanee in al-Saheehah (324, 325)]]

۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم saying:But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely (i.e. in a manner that does not cause injury or leave a mark), meaning: if she allows someone to enter the house whom you dislike, then your are permitted to chastise them. In this Hadeeth the Prophet said to chastise them, whereas in the Qur’aan Allaah تعالى says:

﴿وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ

{As to those women on whose part you fear ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)…} [Surah al-Nisaa’ (4): 34]

The difference between the Aayah and the Hadeeth is that in the Aayah Allaah تبارك وتعالى said: {As to those women on whose part you fear ill-conduct (misbehavior, arrogance etc.)}, (i.e. something which you fear might happen), whereas the Hadeeth is concerned when the wrong action has already happened, so she is to be beaten (lightly) in order to discipline her (for her past mistake) and not as a rectification for the future. Her rectification is in the saying of Allaah تعالى: {admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)…}, whereas here in this Hadeeth, it is for disciplining and censuring her for the thing which she already did – i.e. by allowing a person to enter whom her husband dislikes.

۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم saying:but not severely, meaning: in a manner that does not cause injury or leave a mark, but only a light beating to discipline her and to establish the man’s authority over her.

۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم saying:Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a reasonable manner, meaning: providing them with (nutritious) food and drink which helps in maintaining their body (and health).

[TN: As Allaah تعالى says:

{O mankind! Eat of that which is lawful and good on the earth, and follow not the footsteps of Shaitaan. Verily, he is to you an open enemy.} [Surah al-Baqarah (2): 168]

{O you who believe! Eat of the good things that We have provided for you and be grateful to Allaah if it is Him you worship.} [Surah al-Baqarah (2): 172]

{So eat of the good and lawful things which Allaah has provided for you; and be grateful to Allaah for His favors, if you are sincere in His worship.} [Surah al-Nahl (16): 114]]

and clothing, meaning: that which covers the external parts of her body.

These are from the responsibilities of a husband but in a reasonable manner, meaning: which is known to the people (of the land). The rich will spend according to his means and the poor according to his means.

And what is famous in the (Hanbalee) Madhhab is that the standard of living of both the husband and wife should be taken into consideration.

The second opinion is that only the husband’s standard of living is to be taken into consideration.

The third opinion is that the wife’s standard of living will be taken into consideration.

And the correct opinion is: only the husband’s standard of living will be taken into consideration because of the saying of Allaah تعالى:

﴿لِيُنفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِّن سَعَتِهِ ۖ وَمَن قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنفِقْ مِمَّا آتَاهُ اللَّـهُ﴾

{Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him.} [Surah al-Talaaq (65): 7]

The wealthy woman married to a wealthy man, then her needs would be taken care off in a richly manner. The poor woman married to a poor man, her needs would be taken care off according to the means. The woman of the middle class married to a man of middle class, her needs would be taken care off in a moderate manner. This is clear and encompasses all the other opinions.

A rich woman married to a poor man, her needs would be taken care off in accordance to the means of the poor man - if the standard of living of the husband is taken into consideration; and in a richly manner if the standard of living of the woman is taken into consideration; and in a moderate manner if the standards of both the husband and wife are taken into consideration. But the most correct opinion is that only the husband’s standard of living is taken into consideration.

It is also understood from this Hadeeth that the woman is not required to provide for her husband (and spend on him) even if she is rich and he is poor, because the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم made it clear in this gathering that spending is the responsibility of the husband; This is in opposition to Ibn Hazm رحمه الله who said: “If the husband is poor and the wife is rich, then he can make it binding upon her to spend on him because of the saying of Allaah تعالى:

﴿وَعَلَى الْوَارِثِ مِثْلُ ذَٰلِكَ

{And the same duty rests upon the (father's) heir} [Surah al-Baqarah (2): 233]

The wife is the heir of her husband, so she is obliged to spend on him.

Then it is said: Yes! But this is only when the spending is for the sake of consolation (or comfort). But if it was as an allowance or compensation, then it is not possible to make it a duty on the wife to spend for her husband because the one who gets the pleasure (out of his wife through sexual intercourse) is the husband. This is why Allaah تعالى mentioned the Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) as Ujr (recompense or payment), as if he has paid for the services. So spending on her is compensation (for her services) and not as a consolation. But if it is from the perspective of consolation, like spending upon the (poor) relatives, then yes, it is necessary that the rich provide for the poor.

What if someone says: “The wife also enjoys the pleasure like how the husband does”?

We say: Yes! Both of them get the pleasure out of it, but the one who initiates the matter is the husband. So he is the one who really gets the pleasure out of it, whereas her pleasure is only in succession to his. This is what has been narrated in the Hadeeth that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. [Saheeh al-Bukhaaree (3237, 5193) and Saheeh Muslim (3368)]

[TN: In another narration: The Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: When a woman spends the night away from the bed of her husband, the angels curse her until morning (or until she comes back). [Saheeh al-Bukhaaree (5194) and Saheeh Muslim (3366) and the wordings are his]

In another narration: the Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: By Him in Whose Hand is my life, when a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond, the One Who is above the heaven becomes displeased with her until he (her husband) becomes pleased with her. [Saheeh al-Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim (3367)]]

He صلى الله عليه وسلم did not say: “When the wife calls her husband to the bed…”, because the greater concern is for the man. And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

And indeed I order you to be good to the women, for they are but captives with you…

[TN: The complete narration is as follows:
I enjoin good treatment of women, for they are prisoners with you, and you have no sovereignty beyond this over them, unless they commit clear indecency; if they do that, then forsake them in their beds and hit them, but without causing injury or leaving a mark. And if they obey you then you have no cause against them. Indeed you have rights over your women, and your women have rights over you. As for your rights over your women, then they must not allow anyone whom you dislike to treat on your bedding (furniture), nor to admit anyone in your home that you dislike. And their rights over you are that you treat them well in regards to their clothing and food. [Sunan al-Tirmidhee (1163, 3087) and Sunan Ibn Maajah (1851) and graded as “Hasan” by Shaikh al-Albaanee]]

[Sharh Saheeh Muslim of Shaikh Ibn al-`Uthaymeen (4/336-338)]


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