بسم الله والحمد لله
والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد
There is this notion that guidance given to a woman by a man
is almost inherently misogynistic. Many times I find women offended at the very
idea of a man offering guidance and it’s even more so if his guidance relates
to a women’s issue or command that is particular to women. We, the majority of
people (male and female) have ego problems that make us view advice as
intrusive, uncalled for and generally, rude. We need to actively seek to
overcome our Nafs in this regard.
Often, I contemplate scenarios that happened in the time of
the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم,
the Companions and the Taabi`een, and I play them out verbatim in our modern
era. The results are disastrous. One such narration is mentioned below.
Ask yourself honestly, oh sisters in Islaam, would you accept it if a man from
the Masjid asked if you were wearing perfume and then told you to go home and
make Ghusl because your prayers would not be accepted otherwise? Would this upset
you? Would your first thought be, “Oh my! He is right. I am glad to have people
there to teach me when I don’t know and to address me when I slip into
following my whims.” Or would your first thought be more along the lines of, “He
isn’t my Mahram so why is he talking to me. He should be ashamed. He needs to
mind his own business. Why is there so much negativity here? It’s not that big
of a deal. Anyway, Islaam is in my heart!”
We really need to stop and think about how often we reject advice and label it
as rude and aggressive simply because a correction makes us uncomfortable.
When you read of such incidents in the Ahaadeeth, really ponder. Think to
yourself how you might react to the same advice. If your suspected reaction isn’t
the one that aids you in growth and development towards the pleasure of Allaah
then take steps to change. Recognize your ego and subdue it for your own
betterment and benefit.
🌴🌴🌴
Allaah تعالى
says:
﴿وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ
بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاءُ بَعْضٍ ۚ
يَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَيُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ
وَيُؤْتُونَ الزَّكَاةَ وَيُطِيعُونَ اللَّـهَ وَرَسُولَهُ ۚ أُولَـٰئِكَ سَيَرْحَمُهُمُ اللَّـهُ
ۗ إِنَّ اللَّـهَ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ﴾
{The believing men and
believing women are Awliyaa’ (helpers, supporters, protectors) of one another.
They enjoin what is right and
FORBID WHAT IS WRONG and establish prayer and give zakaah and obey Allaah and
His Messenger. Allaah will have His Mercy on them. Surely Allaah is All-Mighty,
All-Wise.}
📚 [Surah al-Tawbah (9):
71]
🌴🌴🌴
It was narrated that Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه met a woman who was
wearing perfume and heading towards the Masjid. He said: “O Amatul-Jabbaar (O maid-servant
of the Compeller), where are you headed?” She said: “To the Masjid.” He said:
“And have you put on perfume for that?” She said: “Yes.” He said: “I heard the
Messenger of Allaah ﷺ
say:
❝Any woman who puts on perfume then goes out to the
Masjid, no prayer will be accepted from her until she takes a Ghusl (bath)
[like that of sexual defilement].❞
📚 [Sunan Ibn Maajah (4002)
and the wordings are his, and Sunan Abu Dawood (4174) and the words within the
brackets are from him, and graded as “Hasan Saheeh”
by Shaikh al-Albaanee]
💢 💢 💢
📑 Some points of benefits:
🌟 1) Enjoining good and
forbidding evil is a duty and an essential part of the Deen.
🌟 2) If people do not
enjoin good and forbid evil, they will be in loss. The salvation of this Ummah
depends upon it. [Surah al-`Asr]
🌟 3) It is from Naseehah
(sincerity) to enjoin good and forbid evil.
🌟 4) Enjoining good and
forbidding evil is a sign of Imaan (Faith).
🌟 5) There are three
ways to enjoin good and forbid evil. The one with strong Faith will try to
change evil with his hands (i.e. by using force), or with his tongue (by
speaking against it); and the one with weak Faith will at least consider evil
as evil in his heart. [Saheeh Muslim]
🌟 6) Enjoining good and
forbidding evil is the trademark and one of the distinctive signs of the Best
Nation (i.e. the Muslim Ummah). [Surah aal-`Imraan (3): 110]
🚫 7) When the Best
Nation stops enjoining good and forbidding evil, it will lead to its downfall
and it would be treading the path of Ahl al-Kitaab (the Jews and the
Christians) in this regards. And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم had clearly warned
that many amongst us will be following their path. [Saheehain]
🚫 8) One of the reasons
for the downfall and deviation of Ahl al-Kitaab (the people of the Book) was
because they had stopped enjoining good and forbidding evil. [Surah al-Maaidah
(5): 78-79]
🚫 9) Not enjoining good
and forbidding evil leads to Du`aa (supplications) not being accepted. [Sunan
al-Tirmidhee (2169)]
🚫 10) Not enjoining good
and forbidding evil leads towards Allaah’s punishment. [Sunan Abu Dawood
(4338), Ibn Majah (4005) and Tirmidhee (3057)
🌟 11) Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه, in order to make her
fear Allaah, addressed her by Amatul-Jabbaar (O maid-servant of the
Compeller) instead of Amatullaah (O maid-servant of Allaah) which
implies a kind of scolding in order to make her humble. [Al-Haashiyah of
al-Sindee on Sunan Ibn Maajah (2/483)]
🚫 12) Not accepting
advise because the advisor was harsh in his approach is not an excuse for a
Believer. Whatever the reason, it should never defer us from accepting the
truth after it has been made clear to us.
🚫 13) It is al-Kibr
(Takabbur / pride / ego) to distain the Truth, and the one who has a mustard
seed’s worth of pride in his/her heart will not enter Paradise. [Saheeh Muslim]
🌟 14) Before forbidding
evil, one should ascertain two things, that it is bad in itself and that it is
bad for the one who is doing it because a thing may be bad in itself, but it
would not bad or evil for the one who is doing it. Example: It is bad to eat
and drink during the day in Ramadhaan, but it is permissible for the one who is
traveling or is sick. [Shaikh Ibn al-`Uthaymeen, Sharh al-Arba`een al-Nawawee,
Hadeeth #34]
🌟 15) Advise is given to
all, men and women, young and old. The status of a person should not prevent us
from speaking the Truth. [Sunan Ibn Maajah (4007)]
🚫 16) The people of the
Book went astray because when a “noble” person did something wrong, they would
leave him, but they would inflict the punishment on a weak person if he did
wrong. [Saheehain]
✏ Abu
Sahl and Umm Dahlia Barmem
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